We’re taking the coronavirus very seriously here at American Van Lines. We’re doing all we can to assure the safety of employees and customers.
Please be assured: we’re still up and running. Very much so. Moving is an essential business. People have to move for a variety of reasons, even during difficult times.
We’re committed to making that happen, while doing everything possible to preserve your health and safety.
To that end, we’ve listed some things you should do if you have to move during the pandemic: being careful about what kind of boxes you use; maintaining a distance of at least six feet when talking with movers; having extra soap and hand sanitizers available during a move (just in case our movers run out).
You can see the full list of suggestions on our COVID-19 Update Page.
We take the pandemic seriously. We’re also very serious about our commitment to delivering the best possible customer service under any and all circumstances.
That said, we also know that humor and good cheer are a must. Moving is stressful— especially now. Laughter relieves stress, and keeps our spirits up.
So with laughter in mind, here are some things you should NOT do if you’re moving during the pandemic:
- Please resist the temptation to grab and kiss our movers because you’re so happy to see them. We understand the impulse, but please be strong and observe social distancing.
- Please don’t squirt pepper spray at our movers and yell, “Keep your distance!!” They will keep their distance. Besides, they’re sensitive chaps, and apt to tear-up anyway because they’re so happy to help our customers.
- Have soap and hot water available for our movers, but please don’t leave bars of soap on the stairs. There’s such a thing as being too helpful.
- Don’t ask American Van Lines movers to wash their hands with kids’ “soap bubble stuff.” They can never resist that kind of temptation, and they’ll be blowing bubbles all day instead of loading the van.
- Do not, repeat NOT, powerwash American Van Lines movers when they arrive. We do that at headquarters before they leave.
- Do not play songs like Eve Of Destruction and The End Of The World during a COVID-19 move. They’re good songs, sure, but gee, not right now.
- Don’t ask our movers to wear long satin opera gloves like the kind worn by Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast At Tiffany’s. What happens is, they’ll all start singing opera and doing Luciano Pavarotti impressions, and neighbors will rush out and throw flowers at them.
Or shoes. Sometimes people throw shoes. Not everyone likes opera.
- Do not make American Van Lines employees walk through water sprinklers. The water won’t kill germs, and a soggy mover is a distracted mover.
- Don’t make our movers wash their hands in the bird feeder. There’s some kind of wildlife regulation against that. A little birdie told us so.
- Please don’t spray our movers with Lysol each time they enter your house. It interferes with their aftershave and cologne.
- Don’t worry about getting hand sanitizers with names like Macho and Tuff Guy and Pulverizer. If all you can get is generic peach and lilac and lavender, that’s fine. American Van Lines movers are secure in their masculinity. They don’t mind smelling pretty.
- We’d appreciate your having extra face masks on hand, if possible, but please— no Lone Ranger masks. They’re ineffective against germs, and when American Van Lines movers put them on, they start yelling. “Hi-Yo, Silver!” and acting very silly.
Enough no-no’s! Here’s one thing you should do: Keep smiling!!
Mark Armstrong is an illustrator and digital marketing expert. He helps brands get noticed and tell their stories. He knows humor gets people to lower their shields.